SingaStuffed

I’m not sure if I chose to do this to myself because I only have 24 hours in a world class city with so much to offer, or if it was Rong’s positive words of encouragement.  It might be because I’ve been eating really unhygienic food for the past couple of weeks that thankfully hasn't given me a parasite (I don’t think?).  Regardless, I decided to eat and drink myself silly in Singapore. 

It started with breakfast at the Intercontinental.  Let me first point out that I had a challenging hour long workout in the fitness center to get ready for my big hike on Tuesday.  But I followed it by massive consumption of dairy products and bread.

I share one thing in common with the majority of Asian people – lactose intolerance.  I never saw a single dairy product at breakfast, lunch or dinner the past two weeks.   In Vietnam it was condensed milk in coffee and no other milk offered.  Yogurt was never around, nor was cheese.  But the beauty of the Intercontinental (and there is much beauty) is that it caters to western tastes!

I have a special case of lactose intolerance, similar to those vegetarians who say they’re vegetarian but still eat fish, eggs and sometimes even chicken.  In my condition, I can eat large servings of cheese, butter and yogurt, and sometimes exceptions are made for ice cream as well.  But milk definitely makes me sick.   I feel very good about the levels of my lactose intolerance and have high hopes it will continue to improve. 

In my European cheese induced haze, I still managed to think responsibly and decided that I must start out my day learning about the history of Singapore since I know absolutely nothing about it except that it has a lovely hotel that I enjoy very much.  I went to the National Museum, and much to my surprise, discovered that the history of Singapore started in 1819.  I would’ve thought it was earlier, but perhaps the British have sponsored the National Museum.  In any case, I tried to keep up with my electronic guide that took me from 1819 until present day and it wasn’t easy!  I am well schooled in the John Mommsen art of traveling and that means that stops such as museums should only require 30 minutes  maximum (if a stop is necessary at all, sometimes just looking is enough) – and this always includes speed reading and sometimes running through exhibits.  I fully embrace this genius method of tourism and have given it careful practice (I will not let you down Dad!).  Unfortunately I took nearly 50 minutes to learn about the past 200 hundred years of Singapore history.  But I’m pretty much up to speed now and I’m glad I did it.

After the museum, I walked to the river since I do love the water.  It was very nice and I went for a long walk until finally acquiescing to the many requests from the people standing in front of restaurants to go in for a drink and sit by the river.   Here I am sunburnt and big shouldered (I think my shoulders already have an additional kilo of cheese on them.  I wonder, will that help with my hike?).

Then I decided it was best to head back to my hotel to apply deodorant which I had forgotten in a place where forgetting deodorant is like forgetting to wear clothes. 

I really like Singapore a lot.  It’s a very comfortable city to be in.  It’s not so much that Whities are walking around everywhere (I haven’t seen so many in ages – I wanted to wave with excitement and say – HI!  We are so WHITE!  And you talk funny.  I am not sure I like your accent.  Please stop talking so loudly.) but more that it’s a clean and pretty city featuring Western tendencies with a strong Asian twist.   I was here on a Sunday and it made the Christian churches stand out even more in such a seemingly non-Christian place.  Made me miss Buddha a bit, but was nice to hear the familiar hymns as I walked around. 

Frankly Singapore, I still like New York and Hong Kong better, but I kinda want to live with you.  Hello new Czar of Philips?  If you happen to be reading, just a suggestion!

Next stop was the famous Raffles hotel where the Singapore Sling was created. I walked in and immediately knew I had made a mistake, but oh well.  Now I’ve made it for all of us.  Please do me a favor and never have a Singapore sling at Raffles in Singapore?  Please?  It’s totally overpriced and only stupid tourists like me do it.  And although I’d never had a Singapore Sling before, I’m pretty sure they all taste the same.  They even had the recipe for the drink on the menu so I could make it for you sometime and I wouldn’t charge you $25. 

Following that error in judgment,I decided to grab my first lunch in China Town.  Singapore style noodles and Chinese broccoli was the delight and it was tasty!  Despite the heat, I managed to eat it all and then get some cheap gifts for my niece and nephew….and a massage for myself for about $10.  It was honestly one of the better massages I’ve ever had before and there was American Country music playing which made me smile, even while the masseuse caused me great pain.

After China town….well…I decided I wanted a second lunch, which in retrospect was a big (fat) mistake.  So I took a cab to Little India and found a restaurant with the following list of spicy options.  I went for #5 - "You are crazy” because I wanted to properly introduce myself to the waiter and I also really like spicy food.  
  

I ordered the same thing I always order at Indian restaurants and I have to say that I much, much, much prefer this favorite dish at my old Indian local in London.  Maybe it’s not as authentic, but I don’t care!   I am glad I had it because it reinforces why I love my Indian restaurant as much as I do – and I do love it.  Paradise restaurant in Hampstead if you ever have the opportunity. 

Anyway, it was clear at this point that I needed a walk and so I tried to make it to my hotel, but got lost until I found Sophia Road.  Named after my niece, I was sure it would get me even more lost, and it did. 

Then I went for a swim in the roof top pool and afterward the happy hour at the Intercontinental to consume even more cheese.  Rong was right – I do eat and drink like a man.  And he never had the opportunity to witness how I can consume free champagne…

I finished off my night by going to the Singapore Flyer which is the same as the London Observer except I hated it.  I’ve been on the London Observer at least a half dozen times – it is one of my favorite tourist traps in London, mostly because it is always accompanied with champagne when I go.  However, in Singapore there is no tour guide to accompany you and so I was left alone in a giant capsule with a giggling couple making out in the corner trying to figure out what buildings I was looking at.  And they had a weird remix of Coldplay Samba style, but I won’t judge.

Singapore does have a brilliant skyline and I will miss it. 


One thing I couldn't capture in Singapore was the Christmas decorations which were gorgeous - particularly on Orchard Road with all the lovely shops.  I never went shopping folks.  In fact, I hate shopping.   But I did do something stupid (OK, that’s not so surprising) and got too much Singapore cash to have in my pocket which will force me to return.

Anyway, I just got to the airport at 4 AM and I’m so weirdly awake and chipper.  I do not want to leave SE Asia and I will be back.  I’m going to miss it.

But for now, I’m concentrating on my training and will hike up and down the Singapore airport stairs with my 5 kilo backpack in preparation for what is to come.  I only wish I had bought a couple of shots of this to keep my energy levels up.  Sounds like the perfect challenge for my lactose intolerance.