From Rats to Roaches

It’s amazing how after having a rodent infested hotel room with rats eating the majority of your food while traveling in a part of Vietnam where the cuisine makes you want to gag can make a cockroach laden bathroom seem OK.

I was feeling really confident about the hotel tonight - especially being on the 4^th floor (surely rats wouldn’t come up this far?)  Took a shower (no hot water here, but to be fair, they don’t advertise it like the hotel last night) and washed away the mud.  Then went to a normal (Halleluiah!) dinner and even got to drink 2 diet pepsi’s (!!!!!!!!!)

When I came back from dinner and found cockroaches in my bathroom, I laughed.  I mean really!  I went next door to ask my new friend Patrick if I should get a different room.  He came and checked the bathroom – yup, cockroaches confirmed!  Patrick told me not to worry, unlike rats they carry no diseases and will stay in the bathroom where it is moist.  But he advised me to always wear my sandals (like I would take them off?!?!) otherwise I might crunch one.  I asked – do you guys have cockroaches?  He looked at me with disgust – God no! 

I learned something today when visiting a Buddhist temple about the circle of life and how good things come to people who have had a string of bad luck.  It’s my time Buddha.

It was a tough day and we even had to quit early because we were so slow on this terrain.  The ride was technical and it took a lot of mental willpower to get through all the muck and mud and rocks and potholes.   I didn’t get into a fight with Buddy #2, but I did tell him to get his shit together a time or two.   I certainly wasn’t humming any tunes about My Buddy and Me enjoying each other’s company.  But I never fell down and for that I am thankful.  There were several spills today and one ubber dramatic emotional melt down from a tired and cranky lawyer to end what could be one of the longest days of my life.  Side note:  Tomorrow is supposed to be longer.

I’ve mentioned that I am struggling a bit with enjoying some of my fellow cyclist’s company.  There are some fabulous people – Patrick and his boyfriend Dirk being two of them.  They have great attitudes, are laughing and joking all the time and are trying their best to teach me Dutch (Cockroach is Kakkerlak!).   Then there are others.  Take Jane for instance (I have changed her name to protect her identity.)  I’ve been searching my brain to come up with the right word to describe Jane, but I don’t think there is one.  The best comparison I can think of is that character Milton in Office Space who was obsessed with his red stapler, except she talks a lot more.    And when she speaks in English, I want to grab her by the shoulders, look her dead in the eyes, and beg her to speak any other language.  Dutch, Belgian, French, Farsi – I don’t really care.  Just please, Jane, never, ever speak my language again because it makes me want to say things to you that are really not nice.  But then Jane was the one who made me laugh until I cried today, so I have promised myself to try not to curse her so much when she speaks.

It was the end of 40 miles of hot, sweaty, muddy, gritty cycling and we were finally at our mini bus eating some watermelon before riding to the hotel Kakkerlak. Somehow Jane walked up to me and said out of the blue “I peed in someone’s shower today.”

She had a blank look on her face as she said it, and I stared at her.  What?  “I peed in someone’s shower today.  I didn’t know which room was the bathroom and so I peed somewhere and it was the shower”

At this point I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stop.  It’s not so much what she was saying, but how she was saying it, and the fact is – it is really difficult to figure out where to pee here.  I nearly peed in someone’s bedroom this afternoon because you can’t tell where the toilet starts and the rest of the house begins. 

Then, as I am doubled over in laughter, she says with a completely straight face, “I’m afraid the guides know the people who have the shower and I want to give them money for peeing there.”  I am wiping tears from my eyes and ask her between snorts  “how much do you pay someone for peeing in their shower?”  And she just looked at me with wide, blank eyes and said “I don’t know – how much do you think?”

And with that I just walked away because there’s no right answer to this question and I was laughing so hard I couldn’t control myself.

Alright, onto the photos.   

But first, brief update on Operation Triscuit:  I am now buddy buddy with the WI ladies!  Misery loves company and what could be more miserable than sleeping with rats??  They ate my story up and it gave them even more reason to complain about how awful they think this tour is.  This even resulted in them talking about their Triscuits and admitting to having them in the bag right before my eyes.  I’m getting closer! 

Until I finagle a triscuit, I did manage to find almonds tonight so I am back up to a full supply!!  This is a good thing because for breakfast this morning I ate 8 bananas.  I know this sounds extreme, but the bananas here are small and all the other food was covered in flies.  Since bananas are protected by their peel, logically it was the only thing I felt safe eating.  I bet if you had been in my shoes you would have done the same. 

This Buddhist temple is 800 years old.  All Vietnamese men have to go to the monastery for a certain amount of time...then they go on to lead their normal lives, get married, have kids and the whole shebang.

Yes, those are bags of live ducks.  Paul's face says it all.

Bathroom stop #1.  This is why I understand how Jane could get confused.  The toilet was the ground next to that bucket.  You pee on the ground and then take some water from the bucket and splash it on the floor.  Seriously.

And Toilet #2!  I know it's obvious, but you walked to the back corner next to the yellow crates and peed through the holes in the floor into the river below. 

This was after about 3 hours...

The kids here are adorable.  I can't tell you how many times a day I've been screaming "HELLLOOOOO!!!!" back to little kids who run out to wave and give you high fives as you cycle by.  It's really sweet.

Lunch - this time real veggies.  YAY!

Gorgeous day - still no rain!  It's a beautiful country...