I just finished my third rubbing alcohol sponge bath of the day and I am really hoping this recommended treatment isn’t a painful prank by the instructors. I’m pretty sure it’s not a prank, and just effective torture, because the instructors here are seriously awesome.
There are 9 students at the school and I have 6 instructors for my class, which makes for a pretty good ratio. And we sort of need them. I’ve already talked about Calvin and the power of positive thinking. How “hard” and “difficult” shouldn’t be in our vocabularies. Well the fact is, surfing is both fricking hard and difficult. It is hands down the most complicated sport I’ve ever tried (second most difficult is playing catch, mostly because I can’t throw or stop balls from hitting me when aimed at my face).
So my morning was spent experiencing a whole new, and less expensive, method of colonic hydrotherapy. It involved a lot of trying to trudge through big waves with a giant surfboard in tow, getting thrown back and dunked by the waves (or worse), finally fighting through the ocean enough to make it to a place where I could attempt to catch a wave. When I finally decided on a wave after a lot of indecision, I'd heave my stomach and legs on the board, start paddling like the world depended on it and force myself to stand up on a giant surf board balanced on a wave. Inevitably this resulted in me eating it big time, tumbling backwards into the ocean and being tossed into a summersault, forcing water into crevices I didn’t know existed. Once I gained my senses again, I would start spitting out water and swearing.
This is about when I would notice one of my instructors standing there with a giant grin on his face and two big thumbs up. “Nice one Christy! You’re doing so well! I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone at your level do something like that. The only thing I would focus on is keeping your head up and making sure you have a smile on your face.” Then two more thumbs up and even larger smile.
Seriously.
But then there was more. In fact, I not only needed to stop looking at my feet, but I needed to focus on bringing my entire body up so that my left leg is magically lifted to the front of the board with my right one following perfectly in back while landing gracefully with my knees bent low, my butt out and my hips forward with my arms out at my sides (a guy in my class calls it the Circque du Soleil move which is perfect, because it feels like we should all qualify). On top of it, I was supposed to smile through the entire process.
Oh yeah, and you really need to relax, Christy. You’re so intense! Just take it slow and chill.
The point is, I love American optimism, but surfing optimism almost outdoes it. I have never received so much support and reinforcement for kicking my own ass. And I honestly think the instructors mean ever positive word.
The good news is that in the afternoon session things started to click which was relatively amazing. One of the coaches has it all on video and I’m looking forward to seeing my enthusiastic Cheerleader Gone Wrong surfing stance. I think it might catch on and I plan on submitting it for my Cirque du Soleil try-out this winter. I'm going to practice up some cheers tonight which are sure to impress.
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