American Pie

Another 4 AM wakeup call and I made it to the Miami airport on time for my flight to Costa Rica.  

I’ve only been to Miami once before and it was about a decade ago when I was assigned to Ethnic Marketing by General Mills.  In this role, I was responsible for targeting Hispanics and African Americans with specially created marketing lingo to speak to these fast growing and important target markets.  

The General was pretty sure this new role would be an ideal “developmental opportunity” for me, and in that respect, He was right.  A seriously white girl from small town Northern Wisconsin who doesn’t speak Spanish could stand to learn an awful lot from Ethnic Marketing.  And so I found myself in Miami for a Hispanic trade show all by my lonesome.  

As memory serves, I struggled a bit considering I didn’t speak a word of Spanish which ultimately resulted in a mad rush of consumers tearing my booth apart, taking free samples of Cheerios.  I'm not sure where the miscommunication was, but I'm pretty sure it was my fault.  Note to The General:  This wasn’t so much a great learning experience as it was frightening.

I wasn’t really thinking about my previous experiences in Miami, but during this trip it did strike me that I really miss our Melting Pot of America.  In particular, being in Miami made me realize how much I miss Jewish and African Americans.  And I don’t even miss them a little, I miss them a lot.

I started off my day in Miami at the famous Joe’s Stone Crab which is my Aunt Kay and Uncle Joe’s fave.  I got there when they opened to avoid the lines and landed a table right next to a group of NYC friends who happened to be Jewish.  I had the most delightful lunch – not only because of the great crab claws and keylime pie, but also from hearing these velour jump-suited, diamond covered ladies exclaim about their bona fide Israeli pottery.  They also talked a lot about how wonderful Southwest airlines is. The food was good too.

I got the Blaster Lunch (or something like that) to sample everything from Joe's.  I tried to get a healthier option than creamed spinach, but they substituted a grilled tomato covered in cheese instead.  Note:  Their cole slaw is really good - not like normal, icky cole slaw.  This is slightly reminiscent of sauerkraut.

I also loved Joe’s because of the incredible service.  I experienced some of the most horrid and snotty service ever in Miami while I was there, but Joe’s was an exception, with good reason. 

It started when I sat down and my waiter looked at me with a big smile and said “you look like a writer!” which surprised me a little because I don't know what a writer looks like.  I responded “well, I guess today I am…”  - which was true, on that day, I had no other job for myself except to explore and write about Miami.   This seemed like the wrong answer.  He asked with a little concern “well, what do you write about?” 

Wow.  What a good question.  “Uh, myself.  I’m travelling, and I sort of just write about myself.”

I wasn’t feeling so good about my answer, but then I reminded myself I was in America and selfishness was a virtue.

Following this exchange, my waiter was on me like glue.  When I struggled with the crab (one of the things I LOVE about eating crab is that it is a challenge) I could feel my waiter holding himself back from grabbing my little fork and helping me out.  I’m pretty sure he watched my every move throughout lunch, and then it occurred to me that he thought I was a restaurant critic.  Sure enough, when he served up my keylime pie he asked point blank “are you a food critic?”

Seriously.

“God no!  But I’ll be saying great things about you in my emails to friends and family”

He ignored me from that point forward.

The only other good service I had in Miami was when I checked into my hotel.  The kid at the front desk asked me where I was from and so I felt like I had to ask him the same.  He proudly said he was born and raised in Miami.  So of course I asked him where he would recommend I visit.  He cut me off quickly and said “Ma’am, there’s the concierge desk here around the corner and I’m sure he would be more than happy to help you.  Personnally I think that Miami is totally over rated so I’m the wrong person to ask”

He was right.

Anyway, back to the Melting Pot.  Miami was worth visiting mostly because I got to fly back to Atlanta next to Calvin Tucker.  He is like my new Spiritual Guru except he didn’t charge a thing and drank a bloody mary with me.  Plus he never made me feel like a loser, in fact, 'loser' is not in Calvin's vocabulary.

One of the first questions he asked me was “what is your long term goal anyway?”  This was after he told me about his life, which was a bit spellbinding.  A cop in Atlanta for two decades, head of the board of directors for a bank board, and new entrepreneur, he had a lot of interesting things to say.

He proceeded to tell me that I was “a winner” and to take “hard” out of my vocabulary.  That “fear” is the only thing stopping me and that I need to set my goals high and achieve them.  I will fail, but I’ve got a great family and education to fall back on (Mom and Dad, I might have given him the impression that you would bail me out if I totally screw up.  Please don’t let Calvin down).  He reminded me why I love America so much.  And he told me I was a very kind person, and honestly, he was right after experiencing the people of Miami.  I am pretty gosh darned nice!

I ask you, where else, but in America, do you get such optimism?  I have to give a shout out for Calvin's new place and “That Rice” which sounds awesome.  By the end of our conversation I was ready for wings and rice for breakfast.  Check it out at. http://shortyandbusters.com/

Side comment for Ali:  Calvin’s wife is Dr. Patty Tucker and she’s worked at the CDC for nearly 20 years.  You should look her up, and by all means, please go to his restaurant and spread the word.

I guess the point is, I love America.  But don’t bother wasting your time going to Miami unless you have to.  There are way better places to visit!  The beach is nice though.

I did a lot of great things for my sister while in Miami.  1.  Eating Key Lime Pie:  This is one of Betsy's favorites.  I didn't realize how much I loved it until now.  2.  Going to this overrated hotel.  The Betsy does my sister a disservice and I will write it on Trip Advisor.  They are jerks there!  And it is overpriced.  If there is one thing I truly, truly hate, it is snottiness.  I have had my fair share in Miami Beach.  The Betsy deserves better!